In their minds, it never gets down to their OWN behavior and how it affects their partner’s feelings.
They like to pretend that isn’t relevant, or anything they should ever be responsible for.
When they’re abusive, (verbally, emotionally, sexually, physically, financially - covertly or overtly) it is always someone else’s fault.
Sometimes i tell him he is a serial killer that has yet to come out of the closet. This is because when they have finally succeeded in causing your reaction of hurt, upset or anger, then THEY are in power and control over you. And like a drug addict, they get a lot of satisfaction out of that feeling of power and control.It’s not at all unusual for a person in an abusive relationship to REACT abusively.